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Equanimity – Thanks to Emotional Intelligence

You got some ‘shit’ ? Excellent – taste it! ️

Life doesn’t always turn out as we wish, so we think or feel. Little do we know!
There is no freedom from emotions but freedom despite them.
Once we stop resisting our and FEEL!!!

You can see me leading by example & tasting some major elephant here

Why and how? Let’s explore:

We are not rational beings, we are sentient beings with the capacity for rationality.

The hypnosis of the mind

Rationality or the intellect is an ingenious tool and it is worth developing it, but not a functional way to live one’s life according to it. Because

  1. On the one hand, life ultimately cannot be understood rationally.
  2. On the other hand we cannot live without emotions, they are an important source of information and catalyst for all our actions.

Problem: Emotions are not given any interpretive sovereignty.

Result: If you limit yourself to logic and reason, you are denied the direct experience of life. Ignoring emotions creates dissociation and one remains hypnotized in separation and abstraction addicted to more illusionary ‘knowledge’.

The chaos of emotions

Similarly, emotionality is a prison when

  1. Emotions are simply endured and suffered reactively and without reflection.
  2. And these are compensated impulsively without distance (basic reactions: freeze, fight, flight with individual subtleties, see here and here), because one identifies with them.

Problem: One gives emotions all interpretative sovereignty.

Result: one drowns in a soup of emotions – which seem absolutely real. And is in resistance and avoidance of the emotions, seeking the way out in reactivity (from rebellion to abandonment, or mental rationalization see above). Thus the emotional pattern persists, because the information inherent in the emotions is not released by being felt through. Which ultimately perpetuates the emotional experience. A vicious emotional cycle.

The way forward: Emotional Intelligence

There is no way out of this dilemma, only a way in:

It is necessary to reveal the emotions as a source of information and simply feel through them. Neither to avoid the emotions (or to dissociate), nor to sink into the emotions and to identify with them. (For this, healthy rationality can be a valuable companion).

Result: the emotions are released and the information inherent in them is revealed. As a result, the underlying patterns of experience do not have to be repeated, because the ‘job’ has (finally) been done. Thus we break out of the dictates of emotions (even compulsive rationality is ultimately a reaction to suppressed emotions). We reveal our Emotional Intelligence and develop our awareness: we feel and witness what is. Things as they are. And discover ourselves as free, feeling beings: Free to be, free to do what we love.

As a side effect, equanimity sets in: a feeling attitude that is not bound to emotional states of the day.

Emotions: An overview

This overview is definitely not exhaustive. Just food for thought to become more aware of the different emotions. Love in this context stands for the romantic dimension of love (a look beyond that here).

Attached is a concrete exercise suggestion (here is another powerful exercise with a slightly different context) to develop Emotional Intelligence:

Develop Emotional Intelligence

Step 1: Define the core emotion you are feeling (e.g. sad, scared, angry, joyful, sexual).

Step 2: Locate the emotion in your body. Focus your attention on the sensation and describe its exact nature as precisely as possible. Use verbs to describe the sensation (e.g., “spinning,” “popping,” “pulling,” “throbbing,” “tingling,” “swirling,” or “flowing”).

Step 3: Breathe. Take a few gentle, full breaths and breathe deeply as you can into your belly.

Step 4: Allow, accept, or appreciate the sensation. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Can I allow these sensations to be here?
  • Can I accept these sensations as they are?
  • Can I appreciate these sensations for what they are?

Step 5: Match your experience with your expression. Use movement, breathing, or voice (without words) to describe and express the sensation in and on your body. Ask yourself the questions:

  • If the sensation could make a sound, what would it be?
  • If the sensation could move, how would it do so?

Step 6: Recognize the wisdom of the emotion.

  • Anger: What is not or no longer of use? What is out of alignment? What needs to be changed or destroyed so that something better can take its place?
  • Sadness: What needs to be let go of, said goodbye to, or moved on from? What person, dream, vision, belief or opportunity needs to be let go of?
  • Fear: What needs to be confessed? What needs to be mastered? What do I need to wake up to? What needs to be learned?
  • Joy: What needs to be celebrated? What wants to be appreciated? What wants to be appreciated?
  • Sexual feelings: what wants to be born or created? What attraction wants to be acknowledged?

Step 7: Act accordingly.

Congratulations! Through this process you begin to develop Equanimity and Emotional Intelligence. And literally set yourself free.

But words are first only words. Taking up what has been written as an invitation and applying it yourself makes all the difference. ✨

If you lack context or need support with this process, I invite you to attend our next Structural Creating‘ event or contact me here.

Let’s schedule a free 30 min ‘Discovery Call’ today!